Despair

I have been tempted to say, “There is no God,” so great was my despair. I lingered long at doubt’s altar and gave lip service, even praise, to annihilation and emptiness. My
soul was of such pain I wished I had not it. The
Psalms expressed it as well: “For I said in my haste, ‘I am
cut off from before Your eyes, God.’”

But as Jeremiah languished in a prison dungeon in a
land where no food was; someone behind the scenes
came to the ruler and pled on the prophet’s behalf.
Others, before God as His people, were to ask of God,
“Why dost Thou forget us forever, why dost Thou
forsake us so long?”

Jesus, in Your day, the woman long-ill with the issue
of blood had suffered 12 years; Old Testament’s
Joseph, before he was to successfully become
the aide to Pharaoh was horribly mistreated by
brothers. Later he told them, “True enough
you planned evil against me, but God

planned it for good, to bring about what today has kept so many people alive.” For Joseph had become persecuted in order that—through a plan You, God, had—good should come of it. David, Your chosen, could tell us, “Love the Lord, all ye godly; the Lord preserves the faithful and fully repays the proud doer. Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!”

Paul the Apostle declared himself “out of his wits…with measureless toils and imprisonments, with excessive floggings and facing death so frequently. 'Five times I received 39 lashes, three times I was beaten with a stick, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked… wearying work and hardship through many a sleepless night; in hunger, thirst…'” Lord, it was others who harmed Paul; and even David—before he was made king—had suffered plenty: “My feet had almost stumbled; my steps had nearly slipped, for I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked… uselessly then I have cleansed my heart and have washed my hands in innocence, for all day long I have been beaten and chastened every morning.” Your Israelites, when they undertook to sin—mostly at the corruption of the priests—could only utter, “God has turned aside my ways and has torn me in pieces. He has made me desolate (forsaken, wretched).” So was the Gentiles’ plight, Paul the Apostle says: “At that time you were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world.”

Then, Praise God!, Jesus came to us and His mission was to fulfill that old prophecy of Isaiah’s, “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; for the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the humble; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted; to proclaim liberty to the captives and opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor…” It was answered with Christ’s proclamation concerning Himself, “Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing!” How long the people had waited to hear the good tidings, this Good News, the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ! Seven hundred years had been their long wait! Amidst destruction, Jewish city dwellers lamented: “My eye keeps flowing unceasingly; there is no intermission until the Lord looks down from heaven and takes account of me.” Paul who had suffered much, also advised the Christians: “Lift up your hands which hang down, and straighten your shaky knees. Step out straight ahead with your feet, so that lame legs may not be dislocated but rather grow healthy.”

So where despair existed, and David could question: “They reward me harm in return for help; bereavement has come to my soul… Lord, how long wilt Thou look on? Rescue my soul from their destructions…” it was praise, and confidence and faith that kept him going until the solution God chose finally would come. “I will thank Thee in a great congregation; among a mighty people I will praise Thee… Let those shout with joy and be glad who favor my righteous cause, and say continually, ‘Let the Lord be magnified, who has pleasure in the peace of His servant.’ (Psalms 35:27—Berkeley Translation)”

Jeremiah could speak the Lord’s words: “I the Lord search the heart and test the inner self to give to everyone according to his ways, in accordance with the fruit of his actions.” Lord, I have been in despair, and the deliverance, I see from these others' overcoming lives, is praise and faith. Yet where I have not been acted upon cruelly or unfairly by others, I must test myself and offer to You my wrongness of heart… I detect my shortcoming… I offer it to You. Heal me. Make me whole. Deliver me from the snare of the fowler*. In You, Lord, I put my trust. By Your most holy blood, Your stripes, Your trickling bruises, I am healed! Praise God! My future is good, for David was assured and likewise so am I: “Nevertheless, I am continually with Thee; Thou dost hold my right hand; Thou wilt guide me with Thy counsel, and afterward Thou wilt receive me to glory.”

Deliver Me, Lord, from Despair! Sound player controls

Deliver Me, Lord, from Despair!
Sound player controls